


Your Love is an Abyss for My Heart to Eclipse

by bdamanlover4ever



Series: Hunter x Twisted [5]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - High School, Bedroom Sex, Bottom Gon Freecs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love, Ice Play, M/M, Mating Bond, Porn With Plot, Rough Kissing, Smut, Top Killua Zoldyck, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, they feel each others emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-05 15:57:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20491436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bdamanlover4ever/pseuds/bdamanlover4ever
Summary: Killua lapped the ice water up, devouring all Gon has to offer. He wanted to hear Gon moan until his vocal cords were numb. His appetite was voracious for Gon. He would sacrifice anything to have Gon near. Despite his alpha warning him, “We can never win...Use your mentality! Wake up to face reality.”Reality… well, Killua was not a fan of the supernatural. He didn’t believe in God. He didn't believe in soulmates. He didn’t believe in fate or destiny.But Killua did believe in Gon. He did believe Gon to be his savior. He did believe Gon’s personality is his scripture. He did believe Gon’s body is his gospel.So, Killua lived for himself instead of for other people—until Gon’s edges soften and become his coffin.





	1. Restless Souls and Empty Hearts

****Killua can’t sleep at night, without Gon by his side. Dry spit hanged from Gon’s mouth—white crusty and gross. Crust rested in the corner of Killua’s eyes. They were a hot mess. It took the course of time together and gentle touches to coax them into being comfortable to see each other like this.

Killua’s hands rested on Gon’s ass. He enjoyed to touch him..._ to adore him. _ One hand squeezed the softness.

A tear slipped down Gon’s face. Black locks curled up against the pillow, as his brain kicked into action. He was hyper-empathetic—acutely aware of everything, but focusing on Killua’s hands.

“It’s hot.” Gon murmured, the ends of his lips twitching slightly. More tears rolled down his face. “It’s too hot for this.”

“Baka.” Killua laughed through his tears.

_ Maybe it’s depression or stress of the world. Maybe it’s other people’s fault because they can’t stay in their lane and…. reflections reimburse actions. _

But they don’t think about that.

They both wanted to focus only on each other right now.

Their bodies are tangled up. Gon has always been a wild sleeper. Killua loved that. He loved feeling the shorter body squirm against his skinner frame.

“The heat is making it worse.” Gon’s pitiful coffee brown eyes slowly meet somber ocean blue.

A rough pale hand moved to grace a pretty face.

Killua wanted to kiss away the dark a nightmarish circles, making him view the world in a distorted blur of random spontaneous pretty colors.

_ The world is a pretty mess. _

_ Gon is Killua’s pretty mess. _

Killua gently wiped the tears from Gon’s face. “Gon.” He ran his fingers over acne covered caramel flesh.

“Shh,” Gon silenced. “It’s hot.” He nudged his lover towards a window.

Killua opened it and a breeze enters the room. It flows through wild tangled up white hair as the moonlight lands on Gon’s shoulders. Nature embraces them for who they are...now only if their parents would do the same.

“You shho-shouldn’t.” Killua struggled to speak out his words through tears. He wanted to comfort his boyfriend, “_ Don’t cry.” _A hand reached out to hold Gon again.

Gon grabbed the rough flesh. “I know.” He lovingly coddled the larger hand in his own.

“W..ha..Why?” 

“Might be because of the mating thing. I feel your emotions.”

Words enter Killua’s tongue, but his jaw refused to move. His eyebrows mashed together as discomfort churned in his soul. Random ideas blooming with hope, died upon his mind recalling repercussions of saying such a thing.

_ Killua would never make Gon an empty promise. _

“It’s ok..aaaay to be, to to...” Killua sighed, “to be…” The unspoken word was “_ sad” _ it’s better to be sad than to be full of hatred for someone. “ _ Not sad for that mean person, sad for yourself. _”

“It's easy for you to say! You’re a crybaby, Killua!” An unnameable emotion flickered in Gon’s arcadian eyes. “I don’t...I... its only because it’s hot.”

Cerulean enigmatic eyes scanned the little room. He had no idea where they were; he didn’t care.

“Ice.” Killua leaned over to kiss Gon’s sweaty forehead. “I...I’ll get so-some for ya.” 

The omega shifted in the bed, in shock of how much more space he has without his alpha in it. He tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. The heat pounded on his caramel skin, sweat beaded down his face as tears of frustration fill his eyes.

“Fuck it.” Gon unbuttoned his pants, kicking till they fell off. He breathed heavily, sitting up to pull off his shirt. He tossed both pieces of clothing to the floor. 

The helplessness in the air is more stressful than the heat.

_ Suffocation, obligation, consequences _—He could pinpoint, when he fell in love with Killua.

They were going in for their usual after school kiss. He was opening up his bottom locker, and Killua knelt down behind him. “_I can’t believe you actually have a locker.” _

“_Don’t you have one too?” _

_ “I don’t use it.” _

_ “So why’d you buy one?” _

_ “Because I like to waste my parent’s money.”_

It was hard to tell if the rich boy was joking or not. It sorta pissed him off. He rolled backwards and tackled Killua to the ground. “_You’re wasting money! When you could be doing good by giving that to people who need it!” _

Killua grunted, hands shifting down to hold his waist. “_How do you suppose,” _ His white teeth flashed deviously, “_I do that?” _ A playful gleam danced in cold blue eyes. 

“_Starting with me.” _His caramel hands cupped Killua’s pale face endearingly. “ _ We can go on adventures around the world, helping people.” _He pressed their foreheads together.

“_I don’t know about all that.” _A scarlet blush decorated Killua’s face. _ “I’m not good for anyone. But I’d follow you, even if-” _ His breath hitched, as their lips draw closer together.

“_I like girls. _” He confessed. 

He remembers the bafflement on Killua’s face. They just sat there: Killua sitting on the floor, Gon in his lap. 

Blue eyes gazed long and hard at brown.

“_I like girls, too.” _ That was like a magic phrase that allowed their lips to move closer for a few seconds.

“_What does that mean?” _ He spoke huskily, his lips brushing up against Killua’s.

“_Nothing.” _Killua switched up, planting a kiss on his nose. “_I don’t know if I like boys, but I like you.” _

A strange feeling formed in his heart at that moment. It made his palms get sweaty and head start to hurt. All he could think about was how beautiful Killua sounded when he said that. _ Killua liked him! _ He shifted upwards, to capture Killua’s lips in a kiss. “_I know, I like girls and boys.” _ He held steady as Killua’s tongue entered his mouth. “_But I'm dating you, so my attention is all yours.” _

Gon made that promise to show he loves Killua. He’s in love with _ who _Killua is.

But the next day, he also came to understand the consequences of that love.

“_I didn’t know you were a little sweet, Gon.” _Palm whistled out.

He glared his ex-girlfriend from across the hallway. “_Don’t try me.” _He huffed, slugging his backpack over his shoulder.

“_I’m not. This picture speaks for itself.” _Palm flashes a picture on her phone. “_Caught you and Killua acting real homo.” _

A nervous smile slipped on his face. _“It’s just pure friendship.” _He quickly walked up beside her and attempted to snatch the phone from her grasp. “_So let us have this!” _

“_What? I’m not going to share it with anybody.” _Palm held tight to the electronic device. 

_ “I don’t care. That’s so not cool!” _

_ “But sitting in some guy’s lap is cool pure friendship, right?” _

_ “Fuck off! I don’t tell you how to live your life!” _

The expression on Palm’s face grew sad. “_You should be lucky, I was the only one who saw that. I mean, times are changing. But…” _ She lowered her phone, “ _ I’d hate to see you get hurt.” _

Till this day, Gon wished he could have responded to her. He wished he could have been bold enough to say something. He should have said, “_I love Killua, so I don’t care.” _ He should have been open about ‘_relationship _ ’ instead of claiming, ‘ _ friendship.’ _ Fear had claimed his tongue, no matter how fast he spit out words, not one of them would reveal the truth.

“Killua!” Gon suddenly shouted out in the empty room. The blurry world mocked him with blotches to match the shape of his lover.

Frantically, Gon wiped his tearful eyes. He attempted to will the hurtful memories away: the messages, the blood, the hospital, the babies. _ He can’t. _ His heart burned. His chest ached. He could hardly breath.

Sheets stuck to his sweaty skin as he trembled. He shouldn’t have let Killua go. What if Killua tried to hurt himself again?

“Killua.” He repeated the name, as if appreciating the way it sounds on his tongue. “Killua! Killua! Killua! KILLUA!” He was screaming now, his vocal cords burning. He doesn’t stop. “KILLUA!”

The taller 16 year old rushed in, tossing a cup full of ice on top of his boyfriend.

Gon shrieked as the ice hits his skin. “What the fuck?” He cocked his fist ready to sock him in the eyes. 

“You w-weere screeching.” Killua pointed his finger at Gon’s forehead. He poked him aggressively, “Lik-lilil crazy.”

“My bad.” Gon blinked, his vision returning normal to see Killua loosening up his tie.

Wild white hair covered passionate blue eyes, as the tie dropped carelessly to the floor. “I wi..wi..will all-always come when you call me.” Nimble fingers popped the buttons off the classy dress shirt to reveal strong pecs and toned abs. “You...you know this, Gon.”

“Why are you taking your clothes off?” Gon blushed.

“Y..you! Your.” The contagious embarrassment spread to Killua’s face. He stumbled over the rest of his sentence, meaningless sounds coming from his lips. “Floo..ow-oorr!” He motioned at Gon’s pile of clothes.

“I took my clothes off because I’m hot.” An endearing feeling bubbled in Gon’s gut. Killua always followed him, over time, he grew to find it as a declaration of loyalty. 

“Me...me to-too!” Killua stuttered till he was red in the face. He placed his clothes down beside Gon’s, then took a seat on the bed. His eyes peeked at his omega, “Come’er.” He commanded.

Gon smiled so hard his cheeks hurt. He crawled over to lay in Killua’s lap. His movements got slower as his body began self lubrication at the unmistakable scent of his alpha’s arousal. 

Killua leaned over, using his teeth to grab an ice cube. He pressed it on Gon’s chest. 

“Hmm…” Gon cooed softly, the ice melting on his heated flesh. Killua’s teeth slipping in between to leave bite marks.

“Does it feel good?” Killua pressed chilled kisses on Gon’s nipples. The ice making his mouth into a temporary freezer as he sucked lightly around the fastidious buds.

A little gasp passed from round lips, “Yes.” The chills spread throughout Gon’s body. All the ice providing temporary relief to the heat’s harsh blast. “Ah, I love the way you do that. How you get stuff and consider things for me, even when I don’t...”

The alpha removed his teeth from digging in the salty soft bed of caramel skin. He looked down and kisses the omega’s cheek. “_ Sunshine, I worship you_.” A thin strand of spit connects them together. “_Even when you act like a naggy wife.” _

Gon had Killua under his skin. Killua was so _ deep _inside of him. He was apart of him. He understood all Killua’s actions are just words not verbalized.

“I don’t nag.” Gon argued. “I’m _ aaaahh _-” He arched his back, jerking upwards as Killua dragged the ice down his neck. The water dripped from his chin, soaking his adam’s apple and pooling at the base of his neck. 

Killua lapped the ice water up, devouring all Gon has to offer. He wanted to hear Gon moan until his vocal cords are numb. His appetite was voracious for Gon. He would sacrifice anything to have Gon near. Despite his alpha warning him, “_We can never win...Use your mentality! Wake up to face reality._” 

_ Reality… _ well, Killua was not a fan of the supernatural. He didn’t believe in God. He didn't believe in soulmates. He didn’t believe in fate or destiny.

But Killua did believe in Gon. He did believe Gon to be his savior. He did believe Gon’s personality is his scripture. He did believe Gon’s body is his gospel. 

So, Killua lived for himself instead of for other people—until Gon’s edges soften and become his coffin.

“Can we um-_ nff _?” Gon sucked on his bottom lip, fighting back lewd sounds. “Do it?” His brown eyes stared upwards hazy with lust. “I have condoms in my pants pocket.”

“My size?” Killua said, his voice like gravel.

“Of course.”

Killua flipped Gon on his belly, standing up to shift through the clothes. 

Gon groaned against the pillows, “Alpha.” He sniffed the scent of Killua. “My alpha.” A fluttering erupted in his distended stomach as Killua returns to hover over him.

A soft look twinkles in Killua’s eyes, “_Would you like it if I kiss you now?” _He nuzzled the back of Gon’s neck.

“Do what you please. Just...make it quick! It..its hot.” The omega pouted, ready to throw a tantrum. He wiggled at the touch running over his thighs.

Killua placed some ice on Gon’s back. “I’ll prep..pre..prep you with this.” He licked his lips, dragging the ice down his boyfriend’s spine. 

The cube slid all around until slipping between a crack.

“C-cococo..cold.” Gon sputtered. Everything felt good—his nipples rub against the bed sheets and chills jolt down his spine.

“Ooo..” Killua whistled at the sight of Gon’s greedy hole sucking up the ice.

“Oh my Gosh!” Gon shivered. Killua’s nails dug into his thighs to hold him steady. “What..what YOU PUT ICE DOWN THERE?”

“Tho..oought yo-you we-”

“I WAS! That doesn’t mean you stick ice up my asshole!”

“W-why?”

“Ice isn’t supposed to go in there.”

“_Well if you suck on these and I put them in, the temperature should balance itself out.” _Killua lifted up three fingers.

“You know that’s ugly.” Gon scrunched up his face.

“You’re not.” Killua mumbled, using sweetness to get Gon in a good mood again. He rubbed his calming scent over the omega.

“Take these off and get inside me already.” Gon flipped over to kiss Killua on the mouth. He pumped his dick through his boxers. 

Killua obeyed. He pushed Gon on the mattress, “You wet for me, baby boy?” He slipped a pale finger in Gon’s tight hole.

“Yeah…” Gon’s omega wanted to say, “_I’ve been wet for you all day. I’ve cried for you. I’ve got covered in ice by you.” _His face changed to one of glee. “I want all of you.”

Killua doesn’t respond, “_You already have all of me. _” He knew that Gon was aware of this. He didn’t have to be inside Gon to dedicate himself. He wiggled his single digit around, before adding another one to stretch his lover out.

“Killua. Killua...oh.. Mmm.” Gon moaned loudly, as Killua scissored him.

“A-re..are you okay?” Killua halted the movement of his fingers.

“Ye-yeah. I...I’m getting…” Gon’s face tinted.

Killua blushed at the sight of Gon’s erection. “Close.” He shoved his fingers all the way inside Gon to rub his inner walls. “You’re re-real close.” A third finger circled the rim, teasingly pushing in and out the ring of pink. 

“But I wan-wanana...ahh!” Gon bucked his hips. “On your dick.” This part was important to him. He was the only one Killua got hard for. Killua loved _ him. _ So _ he _should be the one to make him cum.

“A-alright.” Killua removes his fingers to appease him.

Gon cooed delightfully, from below. It’s a position he’s so familiar with, yet so clueless about. Each time it happened seemed so ethereal.

Killua’s strong body slipped between Gon’s thick thighs. He used one hand and his sharp teeth to rip open the condom package. His hungry sapphire eyes gleamed down at Gon, as his pale hands roamed his feverish body. 

“Ready?” Killua lined himself up.

“Do i-” The rest of Gon’s words get drowned out by the TV in the Living room.

A loud zealous report blared: “**Extra! Extra! Next up, we have the scope on the rumor buzzing around about Killua and his mysterious side piece. One thing is for sure, it’s certainly not a girl!”**

Killua cringed up. His hands fell from Gon’s body and land in the sweat soaked bed sheets. All the desire fade until cold blue orbs are empty.

“Killua.” Gon said.

“I-...I’m sso...so...soooo.” Killua’s face contorted in frustration. His mouth doesn’t want to work anymore. Too many thoughts enter his head. He’s used to being in the spotlight...he’s a Zoldyck. That’s not a problem.

“_It’s not like we care about what other people think anyway.” _ His alpha reminded him. “_We’re not going to be ashamed of loving Gon anymore.” _ Not ashamed...Not ashamed of the one he cherishes. Not ashamed of the one he cares for. Not ashamed of the one he loves.

Gon balled his hands up in a fist, slamming them against the sheets. “You promised you’ll do anything for me! So why-?” His words freeze in his throat. He wanted Killua to look at him like he’s pretty. He wanted Killua to touch him like he’s pretty. 

Killua shook his head, unable to bring himself to say anything.

The TV continued: “**We tracked down Mr. and Mrs.Zoldyck for any comments on their son’s condition or the rumor they sent him to the mental hospital for being gay. Here is what Mrs.Zoldyck said,**” The colors coming off the TV screen changed as well as the speaker's voice. “**Killua is doing fine. I don’t care about him being different.**”

_ “Different.” _ His alpha repeated, _ “Different mentally? Different sexually?” _ She said she didn’t care. “ _ Yeah. Why should she? We don’t have the mental capacity to inherit the family business anymore.” _

The woman’s strident voice went on, “**But I do care about him sleeping around with a whore. When I was his age, I was working and making my own money. Killua is trying to find who he is right now. That’s what’s wrong with this generation, they have no self control or sense of direction. We sent Killua to a mental hospital to get that corrected.**”

Annoyance and grief flashed on Killua’s face. The more he stared at Gon, a feeling of bilious and innocence mixed up in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t think he’s lost a sense of direction...Gon _ gave _ him a sense of direction. Gon has given Killua more things than he count.

His pale hands reached down to hold back Gon’s fist full of anger. He holds tight to Gon’s wrist, “Li-li-listen, sweetheart.” He coached him, “I’m going to to to to…” His lips won’t form the declaration, “_Do this.” _

Sometimes, Killua gets so emotionally worked up that he _ needed _ to feel Gon. 

“Shut up!” Gon’s eyes watered. He unsure if he’s yelling at the TV or Killua. “Just shut up! I can’t stand waiting! It’s just like freshman year again…” A whimper escaped his lips as Killua loosened his hold. He didn’t want Killua to be mad at him. He loved Killua more than anything—and he assumed they both agreed that their love was more important than anything.

“Fuck them!” Killua blurted. He pulled Gon up to meet his lips in a feckless kiss. “Fuck’em, okay?” He repeated, searching Gon for a look of understanding. “The-eeeeyee aren’t you. I don’t love them.”

Gon trembled slightly, because Killua is his mate and he _ feels _what’s in his heart. “But you fear them.” It's the same fear that Gon’s always felt since their afterschool kisses. The fear of everything crashing down and going wrong. “That’s why you hate them so much.” He ran a finger up the cuts on Killua’s body.

Killua combed his fingers through Gon’s sloppy black locks. “My fe-fe-fe..” He can’t accept the word “_fear_” he liked to think it’s more hatred. He liked to think if it’s hatred, maybe it will kill them in the end. He wanted the hatred to eat his parents alive, like all the years of abuse did him. “It’s not stronger..eeerrr than my...my…” He lifted Gon’s fist to his heart. “Love for you.”

“I hated freshman year.” Gon stated. Torment decorated his face as his voice cracked slightly, “I didn’t like…a lot of stuff. But what I despised the most was not getting the guts to be me until later.” His fist fell flat. “Killua, over time you gave me the guts.”

Killua swallowed a lump in his throat. He didn’t think he did anything for Gon. But once again, Gon amazed him with a feeling of appreciation.

_ Gon loves the ugly parts Killua doesn’t want anyone else to see; Killua loves every temper tantrum Gon goes through. _

There is an unspoken question lingering on Killua’s lips, “_Are you counting on me?” _ He can’t bring himself to ask it. He didn’t know if he can be the alpha who Gon _ needed _ him to be right now. Or if he can ever become _ the _alpha Gon needed. He might just always be himself.

“_You’ll always be enough, because you make me happy._” The omega’s expression softened.

The alpha is glad that his lover didn’t say that aloud. Actions were better than words anyway.

Killua lined himself up with Gon’s entrance—ready to try this again. He still heard the comments from the nosey people on TV: “**I always knew the Zoldycks were a bunch of sinners. They let their son run around and screw other boys. That’s just sick and disgusting. Plus I heard their daughter is actually their son!**” 

He didn’t care. He won’t let these people’s comments get to him. He hoped one day, he’ll gain the guts like Gon had. He had to hold on strong till then.

“I’m going in.” Killua said, his voice barely above a whisper. One day, he’s going to have the guts to tell his parents to respect Gon, because Gon is not a whore, he’s his boyfriend.

“Please…” Gon used a hand to fan himself, “I’m getting all hot again.” Sometimes, he wonders if Killua knows what it means to be warm and cold at the same time...Because, his affection has the strange effect of making him feel lonely.

Killua nodded, slowly penetrating him. 

Gon wrapped his legs around Killua’s slender waist. He praised, “Ah, yes…easy going like that.” Sparks of pleasure shot through at the feeling of being stretched apart.

Killua shuttered at the walls engulfing him. He’s sinking in Gon’s esscance—literary, figuratively and he loves it.

“Mmm...” Gon rubbed the little swell of his stomach.

“F-f-fifi..ii..fine?” Killua asked, glancing at the tumid area of Gon’s body.

“Fine.” Gon confirmed lowly. His sight dropped to look at their bodies connected together. A part of him liked this better than talking. He needed Killua’s reaffirment, that _ they’re the only thing that matters. _

Killua kissed Gon’s forehead. He jerked his hips back, rocking the bed as he paces himself.

Gon let out a moan. It felt amazing..._ Killua is amazing. _ He squeezed himself around the heavy object.

Killua _ felt _Gon’s pleasure. He felts every shuddering breath against his pale skin. He felt every jerk of the below body swallowing him up. He felt the vibration of sound rattling his body.

Gon stretched his arms around Killua, pulling the taller boy into a hug. His lips whisper against pale skin, hot breath tickling the insides of Killua’s ear.

Killua didn’t understand the words coming out Gon’s mouth. His mind too fuzzy with bliss. But he knows that since Gon is saying it, the words are nothingless than sweet and nice.

_ Killua wanted this to last... Since there is nothing more sensational than spending time with Gon. _

“You’re so...warm, sunshine.” Killua uttered, his hands moving to pry Gon open a bit more. He’s close...so close. His nails cut deep into the omega's flesh, warning him that he was about to unload.

“AH-I..I to..ooo! Told you, I’m hot.” Gon lifted his head to the sky, crying out in ecstasy. His body trembled as Killua rams into him with more energy, their hips connecting. “Ah..Killuaah! S-slooow.” He gasped, drool escaping from his mouth.

Sweat drips down both of their bodies, satisfaction enveloping both of them.

“Slow.” Killua huffed, his balls fighting not to sink in the soft cushions of Gon's cheeks. He raked his pale fingers through soft tangled black hair. “Slow.” His hips rolled to make a tempo.

He didn’t understand how someone could find his love for Gon ‘_disgusting._’ He didn’t get how anyone could call Gon a ‘_whore,_’ when Gon was the most loyal best friend he’s ever had. Friends have each other’s backs, and best friends are ride or die. Gon has proven and taught that to him, again and again.

“I’m so happy.” Gon’s caramel hands reached up to cup Killua’s face. “I feel like my hearts go-go...going to burst.” He smiled brightly up at him

There are no tears in brown eyes, and Killua loves seeing Gon cheerful like this. He nodded, snapping his hips in time. He wanted to say, “_I never said being with me would be easy. Some days it feels impossible to love myself. But I’m so glad that through the good and bad you’re still here. You being here, means more to me than I can describe.” _

“So..something else mi-might burst too.” Gon’s arms hugged tighter around Killua, pulling him deeper inside.

“To-together.” Killua promoted, restating his promise to never leave Gon alone again.

Gon lowered his head, watching Killua slam inside him for the last time. He spilt over his stomach and lower chest. 

Killua grinned at the sight, his own orgasm following Gon’s. His hot cum coats his cock inside of the condom. Relief washed over him. 

“Mine...” Killua growls into Gon’s neck.

“Aw fuck…” Gon groaned, his body temperature rising exponentially. His bottom half throbbed as he watches Killua knot up the condom and toss it to the floor. 

“W-wha..whaa?”

“Now...I’m more hot.”

“Wannaananana more ice?”

“No, don’t go...” Gon coaxed Killua into nuzzling their noses together. “I have to pee. But don’t want to get up.”

“Gon!”

“Please! Carry me!” Gon helplessly clawed at the air, waiting for his alpha to pick him up.

There is a lot of stuff Killua doesn’t understand, but he knows why without Gon, he can’t sleep. There is something in the way Gon moved, a special charm in his voice, a unique spark in his personality. He’s the reason why Killua suffered alone so many nights...He’s the only one who had enough of Killua to hurt his feelings and break his heart. 

_ Gon occupies every crack and crevice of Killua’s heart, melting deep into the center, hardening and living there as a permanent piece of hope. _


	2. Restless souls and empty hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He shook his head, “Look, I’m not going to talk about this in front of them.”
> 
> “I wouldn’t have done this, if I didn’t think this was beneficial for us.” Kurapika urged. “We can finally have a fam-”
> 
> “No. You wouldn’t have done this if you didn’t think this was beneficial to you. ” Leorio turned away from him. “Come meet me at the table when you’re ready to discuss t-”
> 
> “I love Gon!” Killua blurted. It’s the first time he’s ever announced such a thing to anyone else. It felt so good to tell other people about his love for Gon. “I love Gon.” He repeated. “So...sososos! Sooo muw...wuh!” He stumbled over vowels and constants. “Plwee do don’t sep. Don’t sep us!” He was scared of the words coming out of his mouth, but he knew they had to be said, or else he’ll never have the dignity to sleep by Gon’s side again.
> 
> His alpha restlessly howled, “ Please, don’t separate us. ” The wolf corrected. “ We have to say it correctly or they won’t understand...if we mess up when talking to our parents they’ll never take us seriously. We have to treat practice like the real thing.”

A beam of artificial light graced pale skin. The action drew a low grumble from the owner. A meek gasp slipped past pink lips, as the slight crack between the door and the frame widened.

A menacing faint blue hue cut through shrouds of dust—hungry eyes—illuminating with a thirst to devour anyone who bugged him. A nose raised in the air, twitching to identify the invader.

“_ Omega…” _The alpha growled huskily.

“Morning sleepyheads?” The blond boy inched closer, noticing the other body the other was nestled around. The face was covered by messy pretty black hair, glittering in the sunlight with the steady rise and fall of his chest.

“Killua, holy fuck.” Kurapika cursed lowly, “You and Gon…did....holy fuck!” He sniffed the room reeking of _ cinnamon buns _.

The closer the omega got, the darker the alpha’s eyes became. Killua’s lips curved up in a snarl, warning: _ STAY AWAY FROM GON _.

Innocently, Kurapika placed a paper and pen on the nightstand. “I take you into my house. You ruin my guest room! And you have the audacity to want me to listen to your commands!” A pissy voice released a calming scent into the air, letting his beta surface a bit to comfort the teenager.

Killua breathed heavily, on edge about something. Whatever this something was, it wasn’t Kurapika. He resumed aftercare of his beloved. 

Killua dragged a cold washcloth over Gon’s skin as he stirred.

The omega blinked his big hazel eyes, “Kurapika?” A soft whine came from him, as his nose bumps against Kurapika’s hand. “What are you doing here?”

Kurapika frantically throws a blanket over the teens naked body. “Gon!” He flashes him a concerned expression. “Gosh are you…?” Worry fills his voice as he looks at the claw marks on Gon’s skin. “Did h-?”

“No.” Gon hugged the blanket around himself. “I’m fine…” He sniffles, tucking his face downwards in the blanket. “Can you turn the air on? I...I keep having hot flashes.”

“Of course,” Kurapika’s heart warmed at the sight. He leaned down to rub Gon’s head. “This is _ my _house.” He thumbed the sides of caramel cheeks.

“Really? How’d we get here?”

“I brought you here.”

A yell came from outside the door, “I really don’t have time for this, Kurapika.” Annoyance and urgency filled the voice, “One of my patients escaped the hospital last night. I need to be there and alert the pol-”

“It hasn’t been 48 hours yet, has it?” Kurapika cut him off. He let go of Gon, and flashed an apologetic, “_ I’ll be back. _” He walked out the bedroom door, closing it behind him.

Gon and Killua shared a questionable look with one another. 

Kurapika’s voice could still be heard through the door. “Isn’t there a rule the police can’t make a missing person report until 48 hours?”

“Well that’s another reason why I should be there searching!” The beta’s voice was gruff and hoarse from screaming. “This kid...he’s super famous and if word gets out he’s gone my ass might get fired!”

“Leorio.” Kurapika comforted, “Stress gives you gray hair at an early age.”

Leorio scoffed, “I’m not stressed. I just don’t want the media on my back like it’s all over his family, right now. I saw what those pesky reporters did on tv last night! I swear if they come knocking or barge in unexpectedly like they di-”

“Wait...Leorio was the one who turned on the TV?” Gon’s voice of shock broke the couple's argument. “Who’s Leorio?”

Killua reached over to the nightstand, grabbing the pencil and paper. He quickly wrote: **A doctor at the mental hospital. He goes by Dr.Paradinight.**

“Did someone call my name?”

“Of course not. You’re probably delirious from running off caffeine and fear of losing your dream job.”

“No way! I’m a doctor, I’m used to working long hours and having to keep my wits about me.” The sound of heavy footsteps came closer. “Who’s behind the door?”

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing.” Kurapika’s facial expression darkens. “Now go back into the kitchen and check on the scrambled eggs.”

Leorio’s hand slammed into door, inches away from Kurapika’s face. “I know the smell of a damn alpha.” Pain flashed in his eyes. “And there is only one alpha, that I know you know.”

Gray eyes scanned black for any signs of distrust. “You also know, soon as I properly get near said alpha.” His voice dropped deviously, “I want silence from him. I don’t even want to hear him breathe. The only thing I want is to feel him writhing underneath me, with my fingers against his throat as I slowly crush his windpipe.”

Leorio inhaled sharply, his mouth twitched downwards slightly. He doesn’t speak “_ Yes, of course. _” that would imply such a thing was normal. “Because, you’d tell me?”

“No. You’d feel it and you’d know.”

Leorio gave a little nod. He was sure that they were past this point in their marriage...maybe he was wrong. He guessed they still lacked communication issues. But a part of him still held out hope.

“Have you thought about a spot for that vacation, I can take soon?”

“Kinda hard to do that when we’re both ambitious.” Kurapika lowered his head and turned the door knob slightly. “That’s why we got married, remember? So we could still be together and pursue our goals.”

“How could I forget? The day we got married is the happiest day of my life.”

“Good.” Kurapika smiled hopefully, “Because I’m so close to my goal, I can taste the blood.” His eyes glowed eerily. “I just need your help.” He lifted a hand to tug his husband down by his collar and soft lips whispered against his ear. “After this, we can go on vacations as an actual family because I’ll have successfully chased all our troubles away.”

“Our troubles?” Leorio’s eyes dashed left and right. He knew for sure now, that they’re not the only people in the house. “Oh God! Kurapika, what did you do?”

“We’re married, it’s shared troubles. My stress is your stress.” Kurapika slowly released Leorio from his iron grip. He ran his hand down the man’s skin, feeling the stubble of his facial hair. “So taking care of them is also going to be your responsibility.”

“Them?” Leorio repeated.

“I’ll let you look.” Kurapika pushed open the bedroom door.

“Umm...” Gon nervously shots a look at his friend, “Kurapika, I didn’t know you were acquainted with Dr.Paradinight.” He rubbed his sweaty palms together anxiously. “That is some important informa-”

“KURAPIKA!” Leorio’s instincts kicked in to protect any innocent bystanders. “Killua is my missing mental hospital patient!” He motioned towards the alpha, “He’s a threat to-”

“Killua isn’t a threat to anyone but himself.” Gon spoke up quickly. He grabbed his boyfriend’s hand, “He’s harmless?”

Killua glanced down at their connected hands, then gazed at Kurapika and Leorio.

Leorio flashed Gon a sympathetic expression. “He just seems harmless. At the hospital, he was able to be visited because he had his medicine.” He gently moved Kurapika out the way, cautiously stepping towards Killua. “Without it, his parents told me tha-”

“I don’t believe his parents.” Gon declared, protectively leaning over Killua. It was almost comical, since he’s shorter than him.

“You should listen to Gon, Leorio.” Kurapika approved. “He’s Killua’s mate.”

“Huh?” Leorio scrunched his face up, “Why would you say that? Killua doesn’t...” He sniffed the air. Without the smell of the hospital, Killua did smell different. His eyebrows furrowed, “The Zoldyck family...it had to be a freak mistake when checking Killua in.” He thought back on the time Killua kept requesting to see, “_ Gon. _” He figured it made sense. That was also why Gon came to visit Killua at the hospital. “They must have forgotten list the fact he has an omega.”

Killua rolled his eyes. His alpha growled, _ “Our omega is very important to us. You think it was a freak mistake, our parents forgot?” _

Leorio fumbled with his little glasses. “Or maybe Killua’s parents don’t know about Gon?” He gave the omega a sad look. “Everyone just thinks he has a w-”

A rotten feeling stirred in Killua’s soul. He quickly covered up Gon’s ears to prevent him from hearing the rest. He didn’t want his precious sunshine to hear all those lies.

Gon flashed a thankful expression at Killua. “It probably looks better for them in the media to claim, I’m nobody important to Killua. And if…” A sigh escaped his lips as he thinks about their future together. 

His omega griped, “_ Alpha said fuck them! It doesn’t matter what the media thinks. It only matters what we think and how we feel about each other. _ ” A warm feeling stirs in Gon’s stomach. “ _ We love alpha! Alpha loves us. _ ” 

“No.” Leorio quickly rejected, “Kurapika, I know you’re not serious. The crazy and the three for one combo are not staying with us!”

“It’s only temporary.” Kurapika attempted to relax him. “Besides…it’s our duty to help those less fortunate than us, Leorio.” He slipped up on his tippy-toes to press a kiss on his husband’s lips. 

“I’m all for helping people! I’m a doctor for fucks sake, but…” Leorio’s breath hitched. Both the teens gave him, a cold hard gaze, making him feel like he’s the bad guy. He didn’t want to break up the happy couple, but they didn’t need to be here (especially if they just wanted to have sex anyway). Now he was going to have to do extra work, like clean the bed sheets, and write a report in Killua’s records. He shook his head, “Look, I’m not going to talk about this in front of them.”

“I wouldn’t have done this, if I didn’t think this was beneficial for us.” Kurapika urged. “We can finally have a fam-”

“No. You wouldn’t have done this if _ you _ didn’t think this was beneficial to _ you. _” Leorio turned away from him. “Come meet me at the table when you’re ready to discuss t-”

“I love Gon!” Killua blurted. It’s the first time he’s ever announced such a thing to anyone else. It felt so good to tell other people about his love for Gon. “I love Gon.” He repeated. “So...sososos! Sooo muw...wuh!” He stumbled over vowels and constants. “Plwee do don’t sep. Don’t sep us!” He was scared of the words coming out of his mouth, but he knew they had to be said, or else he’ll never have the dignity to sleep by Gon’s side again.

His alpha restlessly howled, “_ Please, don’t separate us. _ ” The wolf corrected. “ _ We have to say it correctly or they won’t understand...if we mess up when talking to our parents they’ll never take us seriously. We have to treat practice like the real thing.” _

“Sep! Sep! Seperrrr!” Killua twisted his mouth up in all different directions to try and make the correct sounds. But his brain kept reverting back to the same three letters, “Sep!”

“Killua.” Gon whispered softly, “It’s okay, don’t push yourse-”

Killua grabbed Gon, yanking him downwards into a blissful kiss. He was not afraid to kiss Gon in front of people anymore. He was not afraid to claim those sweet gates of paradise as his own. His hand shifted to tilt the omega’s head up. “_ I want the world to know you’re mine. I want everyone to know, I love you.” _ He ran his tongue over the top row of Gon’s teeth.

Gon’s tongue brushed over Killua’s. He groaned deeply, as their noses rub against each other. His body crushed Killua’s against the mattress, as they roll around in the sheets together.

“Hell no.” Leorio discouraged. “This is awful! This is terrible!” He shut the door, to muffle his yelling.

‘_ Damn it!’ _Kurapika reached down to pick up their clothes. “I’ll bring y'all some old clothes from my closet, while I wash these. Then after you get dressed, come out for breakfast.”

Gon let out a whine, struggling to separate his face from being glued to Killua’s. A pathetic look flooded his brown eyes. “What's going on here?” He inhaled a flowery nature like scent, with something venomous behind it.

“We’re keeping you dumb little kids safe.” Kurapika stated.

Killua growled, slowly sitting up in bed. His smell coming off more pissy than before. It was a nonverbal communication of, “_ There better be another explanation, too. _” He liked to think he can keep Gon safe on his own. Even with his parents on his back, he was sure that he doesn’t need help from a crazy person like Kurapika.

“Listen, you can trust me. I’ll talk Leorio down and he’ll come around.” Kurapika promises, “He can’t reject this. His heart is too soft.”

**That’s whatever** . Killua wrote a dry nonchalant response to rival the one Kurapika gave them. **But it’s not okay. **

“Eh?”

Killua frowned: **He thinks he can separate us. I just got ** ** _my _ ** **sunshine back. We can’t leave each other again. I don’t care...about what my family thinks. And I know that’s selfish to ruin their reputation and everything just for my happiness, but Gon preached… ** He put a strike through the word ‘ _ preached _ ’ for: **Saved me because I should live for myself instead of other people.**

“Being with Gon makes you happy, Killua?” Kurapika hummed almost impressed by the dedication the young couple has for each other.

“Ve-eerry.” Killua nodded, slightly tempted to kiss Gon again.

“Wow. Must be nice to have another person make you happy.” Kurapika nudged Gon back to Killua. “The only thing that will make me happy is revenge.”

Gon jumped as Kurapika slammed the room door. “Is Kurapika mad at me?” His eyebrows perked up in confusion.

“No.” Killua carelessly rolled over.

“Are you mad at him?”

Killua blinked.

“I want all my friends to get along.” Gon wanted to pry and get Killua to tell him what the problem is, but then he’d be ‘_ a naggy wife.’ _ He rubbed his alpha’s back comfortingly.

“I’ll try.” Killua murmured, feeling Gon’s distress.

A smile tugged on Gon’s lips. “Thank you.” He delivered Killua a sweet kiss. “Now where’s my…” His hand reached over to feel the empty nightstand. “Maybe my phone was in my pants?” He thought aloud.

Killua cringed slightly at that conclusion. 

“I need to call Aunt Mito to tell her I’m with Kurapika.” Gon laughed at his own joke. “Haha! She might have called the police to start a search party by now.”

Killua hoped that she _ has. _He removed the cold rag from Gon’s flesh, “How d-do you feel?”

“Less hot.” Gon rose to greet the morning. “Like I told, Kurapika...I think I'm having hot flashes.” He kicked off the blanket, slumping over to hug Killua from behind. “Thank you, for staying up and taking care of me last night.” He whispered sweetly.

Killua cut his eyes to gaze out the window. The sun was high in the sky now, rays kissing everything in sight. 

_ Just like how Gon’s gentle words kissed every inch of Killua’s body. _

**Why do you always do that? **Killua moved the paper upwards so his lover can read it.

“Do what?” Gon snuggled his face in the crook of Killua’s neck. His tongue dragged over the mating mark he left on the alpha’s flesh. 

**You say** . Killua draws quotation marks around the words: ** “thank you.”**

“Umm, that’s something people do?”

**But you always thank me for something, I want to do.**

“Well…”

**I want to take care of you, Gon. **Killua tilted his neck to the side, pressing a kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek.

Gon touched the spot with a hand. “I know.” A little smile appeared on his lips. “I just want you to know, I’m thankful for that and for you.” He laughed and Killua peppered more kisses on his face. “Killua, I want to tell you how thankful I am for your existence everyday.”

**How do you know when to say it? **Killua grinned ear to ear.

“You don’t know when to say thank you?”

“Baka!”

“This isn’t something you can just explain! Thank you is a verbal way of expressing thanks. Thanks is a feeling.”

**How do I know how that feels?**

“You feel my emotions, don’t you?” Gon pulled away, to touch his chest. “You’ll feel it in your heart, straight from my heart.” 

**Like a kiss without a touch? **Killua blinked, thinking of the yearning in his heart he feels around Gon. He thought of the passion he felt last night, with his hands all over Gon’s body.

“I don’t know!” Gon confessed. “I don’t have all the answers. We’re the same age. My knowledge level isn’t that vastly beyond yours.” His hand balled into a fist. “I wish… I wish I did have all the answers.”

Killua snagged up Gon’s fist, kissing his caramel knuckles. He wrote with his free hand: **I feel the same way too. But I think it’s much more fun to figure out things with you. Think about how much we’re going to learn going on adventures around the world. **A blush covered his face, as his eyes glittered at Gon. 

Gon’s heart increased in speed, “Killua-aaaaah!” He melted into his boyfriend’s touch. “You’re making me heat up even more!”

“So..so so so pretty.” The alpha swooned over his omega. “I’m so g-glalala, glad you’re mine.”

Gon was glad too. He felt like he can return to breathing without having to think about if he really wanted to do it. “Me too.”

_ The sun has so much more mass than the moon. It’s strong, it’s an anchor...its gravity is greedy. The sun wants to rip the moon away from the earth. It wants to hold the moon close to keep it safe. _

**Author's Note:**

> THANKS FOR READING!
> 
> This story took much longer to write than needed be. I've been experimenting on my writing and editing more, ect... It really frustrated me at first, because I spent the summer writing short stories instead of chapter books. But I think I have made a choice to stick with third person past tense. Thanks to everyone who is still interested in my stories!
> 
> Anyway...My air conditioner is broken. (T-T) So no shocker I wrote about them being hot and nothing like returning to my smut roots to kick my brain into gear. Thanks so much for reading! Have a wonderful day!~Mel


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